Darn it, I forgot that I blog. Again.

This is my final project for Production and Editing Two. The sound is a little sketchy, but overall I'm very satisfied with it. If you're opposed to a immature humor, please don't click on it. I originally wanted it to just be an awkward singles chat line staring my friends Libby and Sandy. Libby gave me the idea to make it into a "plus sized" ladies chat line because Libby and Sandy are plus sized ladies. Therefore, I cannot be accused of being shallow or misogynistic because it was a woman's idea AND I made fun of myself in this as well. The man tempting the viewer with his voluptuous man boobs is played by none other than ME. I have since lost about 10lbs out of sheer shame. Watching myself over and over again while editing this gave me an eating disorder.

Anywho, this video symbolizes that I am now done with school. In a short while I will be taking the plunge and will be an official LA resident. To say that I am scared is like saying John Waters is flamboyant; an UNDERSTATEMENT! I'm 98% sure I found a roommate. Forgive the short and irrelevant update. I wanted to make sure this blog did not atrophy like the last one.

Official office goodbye

I'm sitting in what was dubbed the "7th floor bureau" for Frequency TV. It is a small, quiet office with scuffed and scratched walls, and is currently still packed with costumes from Debbie's Got Class. Contrary to how it may look now, this room was actually a sort of writer's office given to Libby and I at the beginning of the year. It was our little creative sanctuary where we wrote and rewrote the first two episodes of Debbie's Got Class. Sitting in here makes it strikingly clear that the semester is over and I will be going out into the real world very soon. Thankfully, I will still be on Columbia's payroll until the end of January (cha-ching!) but it is all very scary.

Looking back on all the long days and countless hours Libby and I spent writing and producing that monster of a project, I feel idle. Like, I literally don't know what to do with myself now. Doing all my final papers and projects early easily pacified that idle feeling, but now that's all done too. For basically the next two weeks, I have nothing to do but sit around and relax. I feel like the dog who finally caught his tail. Afterwards the said dog looked at his tail, sat down, lit up a cigarette and asked the age old question "what the hell do I do with myself now?" I guess in dog terms, the most logical answer would be to seek out the nearest crotch to sniff, or fire hydrant to pee on (quitting smoking would also be on that dog's list, I hope). People like me and the aforementioned dog need constant stresses in order to feel accomplished. It keeps us sharp, and generally interested in life.

For me, seeking out the nearest fire hydrant to pee on translates into a new writing project, and the crotch sniffing would be analogous to finding an internship in LA. Hmm. I wasn't expecting that analogy to be layered with self-deprecation and vulgarity. I should work on becoming sensitive to gross or inappropriate things. I'll add that to the list of things I need to work on; right below finding true love but above not eating after 8pm.

Writing must commence soon, for me. I'm kicking around the idea of a Parks and Recreation spec script because I love Leslie Knope. When comparing her to Michael Scott from The Office, I gotta go with the Knope. She's off the wall like Michael and similar in her social ineptitude, but that's because she's smart and takes her job way to seriously. Also writing as Ron Swanson would give me an opportunity to showcase the deadpan-ness Libby has rubbed off onto me.

My biggest problem with writing spec scripts that aren't for a class is starting them. I'm afraid that because I don't have a work or school related deadline I'll lose interest and try something new half way through. What a waste of time, right? Being afraid, that is. And with that sentence fragment, I have decided. I will take advantage of this time off from school and work, and the newfound mobility of my graduation present (a Macbook named Grand Moff Tarkin), to write or at least outline a spec for Parks and Recreation. Expect a few blogs here, a few blogs there. I'll try and keep all three of you updated, because I know ya'll are on the edges of your computer chairs just waiting to hear what I have to say next. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to concentrate on getting this nasty, unsweetened green tea down my throat. Just swallow, Kyle. Just swallow. DAMN! I forgot. Watching for vulgarity now...

Stay in school. Love your insurance. Love your UPass.

There are some people who think doing homework on a Saturday is a death sentence for your social life. I used to be one of those people. However, I struggle to remember having consistant rambunctious plans for Saturday nights. My party nights are pretty much entirely sporadic. Most of my Saturdays consist of playing World of Warcraft and watching bad movies on cable (BTW, Thirteen Ghosts was on last night. Such a good-bad movie). As inferred by the latter and the former activities, I was in no place judge Saturday-Homework-Doers.

Last night I knocked out three final papers I have due this week. I wrote my final Dick Van Dyke Show paper on Sheldon Leonard. I was expecting to write about Carl Reiner because I freakin' adore that man, but I couldn't find the right angle for Reiner. I wanted to write about the narrative style of Dick Van Dyke, because I've noticed some distinct patterns in Carl Reiner's episodes. But Sheldon Leonard was ridiculously good at his job, and writing about how he saved the show numerous times with his God-like producing skills was easy. It was really inspiring in a strange way. The book I was reading described a scene where Leonard was consulting with Reiner about what was missing from his failed Head of the Family pilot (the precursor to Dick Van Dyke, starring Carl Reiner as Robert Petrie). Leonard had to break it to Reiner that they missed the mark with casting, including Carl Reiner as the lead. I can only imagine how awkward that conversation must have been; "You just spent a year pouring your heart and soul into this thing and its biggest problem is you. Bye now." Of course Leonard didn't break it to him like that, but my critical heart breaks it down to that. Leonard was able to convince Reiner that his right spot was as a producer/writer for the show. Reiner had never produced before, so he was wide-eyed and unsure of himself, but Leonard cited all these things Carl did with his scripts; the attention to detail, the thoroughness of a specific sight gag, everything right down to the costumes was present. Carl was thinking like a producer and didn't even know it. I know how silly this sounds, but I got a little choked up when I read that. As someone who only up unto four years ago thought he was only good at one thing (which coincidentally was acting; as happened with Reiner and Leonard), it fills me with relief that someone of whom I hold in the highest regard went through something very similar. Four years ago I didn't think I was capable of writing a screenplay. I had written comedy sketches before for speech team and variety shows and such, but never an entire 40-80 page script. Writing in prose format, as you may have noticed with my lazy sense of grammar, has always been difficult for me. Blah blah blah, I'm grateful for where I am now, yaddah yaddah yaddah, Carl Reiner and Sheldon Leonard are awesome, bloop-piddty-bloop-bloop, finding inspiration is a great thing.

I have one more final paper to write and I'm going to knock it out today. Are you ready to laugh? This is my prompt, in essence. I have to choose a specific game format (which will be table top RPG Dungeons and Dragons) and pick three different game elements from it. After finding three different game elements (which I'm thinking will be Bluff checks, racial/class bonuses, and the 20 sided dice), I need to find specific scenes from Charles Dickens Our Mutual Friend and point out where these game elements can be seen as story conventions. Bluff checks can be seen freakin everywhere because everyone in that book is lying about something. Racial and class bonuses can be applied easily because its Victorian England and the poor people are always at a disadvantage from the rich, and old money versus new money.

Can you think of any assignment more nerdy than this?

Like a pheonix from the ashes!

I know all two of you are wondering what happened to my blog page. Don't worry, everyone. Take a deep breath and try to relax. I know how many you loved the one post I made to my previous blog, but as they say in that one song, "the times, they are a changin'" (I'm pretty sure that's from a song. If it's not, please correct me. I like being corrected.)

I am less than a week away from graduating Columbia College, and I'm setting my sights on moving to LA in the Spring. I figured it is about time to make a semi-professional blog about stuff I'm working on and my career/life in general. It probably won't be that interesting, but I figured that the internet will surely have a market for the musings of a goofy, young writer who watches the History Channel too much. Sometimes I write in formal sentences as well.

Finals are baring down on me, but for the first and last time in my college career I am prepared. In previous semesters you would find me typing every paper up until the literal last minute. One time the customers of a Wabash st Jimmy Johns got dinner and a show as they watched me walk while carrying a laptop with one hand, and typing the final paragraph of my Body Movement paper with the other. I'm quite dexterous when adrenaline is coursing through my veins. But all that is in the past. This semester I have taken the time to do most of my work before finals week. My production and editing two final project, a cheesy, fake commercial for a chubby-chasing chat line, is in the can. You can expect to see it on my Youtube account (which will be getting a professional make-over similar to this blog page) very soon.

Today I am finishing a research paper I am being paid to write. After that I plan on typing a second draft to my French Revolution final paper, and then a first draft for my Dick Van Dyke research paper. In case you're scratching your heads, I am taking separate classes on the French Revolution and The Dick Van Dyke Show. Laura Petrie was not guillotined, but if she was, I can clearly imagine Mary Tyler Moore's nervous "Oh Rob!" schtick while they cart her to the town square. Tomorrow I'm tackling my final project for my Literature and Gaming: Dickens class. I still don't know how a college can cram those three subjects together, and I've been in that class for 14 weeks now. I mostly nod my head and smile during that class. I really only interject whenever one of Dickens's archetypal ice queens do something sassy. My comments usually involve a neck swivel and a triple snap, because those bitches need props yo.