Wednesday, June 2, 2010

And he eat the poo poo!



I love this guy, because he is basically doing all the work for me. I could not have written a better parody of him or his ridiculous cause. No one could. Stuff like this is too genius for words.

Also, last time I checked, straight people were into scat play as well. It was two women starring in the infamous Two Girls One Cup. I mean, even though I was in a self induced coma at the time, watching the computer screen via my astral form because it was too much for my body to handle, I still didn't see two men doing that shit. Literally. I'm also 99.9% sure that the Cleveland Steamer, Glass Bottom Boat, and Alaskan Pipeline were invented straight people. Whenever I watched Real Sex on HBO, it was always some creepy couple from Nevada that was always into the risky poopy, bloody, bondagey play. It was never the happy gay couple down the street who just wants to shop at J. Crew in peace. The world is made up of a heterosexual majority. Where do you think we learned our crazy anal sex play from? Ancient homosexual hieroglyphics? Or is it somehow engraved into our Queer DNA to eat poo poo? Seriously. Who pooped in the gene pool?

Yes, poop is unfortunately a part of being gay because anal sex happens more often than with straight couples (even though straight couples do it too, god damn it!). And I'm not going to dive into how poop isn't always the case when anal sex is involved when the right precautions are taken. The crux of this guy's argument against homosexuality is POOP! A 1940's comedian would be the first to say that "this guys argument STINKS!" This guy literally sat around for hours crafting this argument, masturbat- I mean- researching, gay sex acts with an emphasis on "da poo poo." This is his life! I mean, how funny is that?!

As funny as this video is, there is an element of terror that I feel as well. Its an uncouth mix of immature chuckles about "da poo poo" and nervous giggles trying to diffuse the creeping fear I have in my heart over knowing that people like this live on the planet. Storm would be ashamed of you.

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