Puking American Dreams.

On July 14th, 2010, at approximately 4:17pm, while sitting in a computer chair at his internship, for no particular reason at all, 22 year old Kyle Hafkey collapsed. He was rushed to the hospital where doctors thought they were dealing with a garden variety heart attack, but after an MRI scan revealed a mass on his heart they began to fear the worst. This piece was no ordinary piece of heart; it was a section that had become overgrown and cancerous. Experts are speculating that this is just one of many cases of heart cancer linked to radiation caused by Hollywood. When asked about its connections to massive amounts of deadly radiation, Hollywood representatives had this to say:

"Our hearts go out to Mr. Hafkey and we wish him a speedy recovery. As for the accusations that we knowingly pump toxic radiation into the minds and hearts of Americans, they are completely unfounded. We just do our best to create meaningful stories for the public; stories that the public can relate and relax with. We just want to entertain."

Doctors removed the mass and a quater of surrounding tissue from Hafkey's heart. Doctors say that Hafkey is one of the lucky ones, and had they not removed this mass now it could've proven fatal later on. Hafkey must now relearn how to feel in certain areas, and even relearn how to read and write. Hafkey released a comment after Hollywood refused to take the blame, "There's no doubt in my mind that Hollywood is committing horrendous acts of radiation pollution; pollution that is actively doing damage to our bodies and minds. I do not, however, think that Hollywood is aware that this is going on. They said in their statement that they just want to entertain. The truth is they just want to make money, and sadly this radiation is a runoff biproduct of what they create."

Hollywood has declined to comment any further on the matter.

But what are your thoughts?